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03.29.00
Oh blessed Demerol, thou breath of my colon's being, My apologies to Shelley. Demerol is the nectar of the Gods. As I lay upon the table, fear, tension and anxiety nearly causing my heart to lurch forth from my chest, I wanted nothing but to get the hell out of there. Sure that some terrible mistake was going to be made and I would die in agony, I knew there was no escape. My fate was set, meted out as if by an executioner, and it was beyond my control. I was scared shitless (literally) until the Demerol kicked in. At first an unpleasant burning where the IV went in, it soon turned into something like the most soothing lullaby I have ever heard. I was enveloped in warm cloud of comfort and love and I shared this freely with the nurse and the doctor. Even when I was gripped in the throes of what surely must have been agonizing pain, I loved them. I loved the nurse who shoved her fists into my stomach for some unknown reason. I loved the doctor as she maneuvered a six foot tube throughout my intestines blasting air here and there. I loved the way my colon looked on the monitor, and thrilled when a weird spiky thing came out and ripped out chunks of it. I was sorry when it ended. Can you believe that? I was sorry when it ended! No wonder Elvis dug Demerol so much--it's great stuff. I have a new appreciation or rather, understanding for junkies, never before realizing how unbelievably good a chemical could make one feel. Anyway, I get the test results back in about a week. Keep your fingers crossed. I've just had half a bowl of tomato soup after not eating for three days. Boy am I stuffed. I need a nap.
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