08.28.00

I had to nix the Zyban. I was having out of body experiences and I was pretty sure I saw Richard Hatch standing in the corner of my bedroom asking me for my e-mail address and telling me it was okay, he didn't like me like me, he just wanted to "keep in touch".

Okay, so that last part was a dream, but it was frighteningly real. So was the feeling I was outside my body and looking at everything through glass.

On Sunday, after I swept my kitchen floor eight times (just to make sure I got everything) I knew there was a problem. I called Hula and told him I wasn't sure I liked the way this drug made me feel. When he responded that I should give it a few more days, I had a melt down and used every four (and some six) letter word I knew. He politely listened to all of it, and quietly said, "I think I'll let you go now." I hung up on him and called my doctor who told me to stop taking the drug. I hung up on her and cried for three hours.

Today, at 8:30 PM, I finally feel normal again. Hula is as relieved as I am.

I'm still going to quit smoking. I swear to God and country I am. I'm just not going to take some freakish little pill that makes me so insane that I'll "forget to smoke". No wonder Zyban works. You're too busy running away from a fat naked guy holding his immunity idol to light up.

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