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Friday, May 17, 2002
My Very First Gator (Written on 3/16/02)

I spotted my first alligator here the other day! I was walking the dog and he was sniffing out some bushes in the neighbor's yard when I saw the frightening creature. He was ENORMOUS. I was so shocked, some involuntary words came out of my mouth as they sometimes do when I'm caught off guard. This time, I think I shouted, "GET BACK! OUIJA! GATOR!" as I yanked on the dog's leash and ran down the street, kind of sissy-like.

When I overcame my surprise at what I saw and recovered from my mild embarrassment at having yelled in the street, I realized I had to alert someone--but who? I figured before I called the police, animal control and the local news stations, I needed more details about the animal. Certainly my eye-witness account would be crucial to the story! I tentatively looked back towards the yard and yes! HE WAS STILL THERE! But oddly, in the same position he was in when I hollered like a little girl. I paused and walked closer, noticing no further movement from the gator. I was very puzzled. I wondered if alligators "froze" like lizards and drunks sometimes do when they're startled.

I figured if I left the sidewalk and went into the street AND if I had Ouija on a very short leash, I could risk walking back a little way for another look. As drew closer and came around the bushes, I realized it.

It was a STATUE of a gator.

I know! My neighbors are idiots!