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she· verb
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08.21.03
We spent last weekend in Tampa with some friends who were visiting from Chicago. It was great--wine, night swims, stunning views from the balcony, shark movies on TBS . . . what more could a simpleton with the intellectual capacity of a sand dollar want? But in the scope of urgency that has become my life, it lasted only about 35 seconds. Then it was over. Just like that. I had a dream last night about Johnny Depp in pirate make-up, digging my sleek new abs with his tongue, that lasted longer than the trip to Tampa. Godammit dot com. In other and far more important news, my husband is leaving me. That bears repeating, no? My husband is leaving me. I said something provocative to him a couple of weeks ago and who knew it would have repercussions as far reaching as this? He is LEAVING ME. ALL ALONE. THERE AREN'T ENOUGH CAPITAL LETTERS IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE, NOT TO MENTION EXCLAMATION POINTS, TO ACCOMMODATE THE MAELSTROM OF COMPLETE FREAK OUT THAT I WISH TO CONVEY TO YOU!!!!!!!!11 Okay, actually there are enough of both and I completely over did it up there. A couple of weeks ago while Hula was complaining, yet again, about the crappy job market and how his fellow Instructional Designers are finding easy and satisfying employment at the large educational institution in our backyard simply because of their possession of an M.A., I said, "What, you've a couple classes to take in order to finish yours? Why not use this down time to get it over with?" Holy. Efing. Shit. He pulled it off. Got himself re-accepted into not only his original program at U of C, but so that the resulting thesis and degree would entirely align with his current career aspirations. I think it started out ten years ago as studying the bowel movements of cave men and will end up with one semester of course work and result in a degree in something to do with computers and corporate culture. (But you know, I could be wrong. That sort of analysis is entirely beyond me--I dig shark movies on TBS. ) If you're at all familiar with the U of C, and the politics of how difficult they make everything, I do know what he did in 10 business days is impressive. And I should be delighted. And proud. And I am. But I'm also very scared and running on about five hours of sleep a night as this whole HIPAA crap gets implemented at the House of Pain. Now I have to worry about Project Offspring turning into Project Don't Get Laid Off Or You're In Big Trouble Now Missy. Can I please return to the simpler days when all I worried about was giving up the smokes?
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