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07.19.99

Tony is on vacation! I think he’s having his elective procedure done. His recent talk on the phone was of the inevitable swelling that will occur after the liposuction. God help me, I hope he’s sore. Well, not really, but it feels good to say it.

My current book is chugging along. I swore I wouldn’t contract out another one while working full time, but the money just was too good to turn down. As a freelance ghost writer, my name will appear nowhere in the book. Only the guy who’s paying me to write them for him will be credited. The last time I did this, I couldn’t imagine it bothering me. Until he paraded the thing around the workplace, autographing copies and acting like a big cheese, I had no idea it would feel like a punch in the stomach. But it did.

So this time, I upped my price considerably when I agreed to write What’s New in Word 2000-I had to account for “emotional distress”. When Mr. Big Cheese didn’t balk at the sum, I took the assignment. I now spend my evenings contemplating the subtle nuances and intricacies of word processing. It’s not the Great American Novel, but it’s getting me that kicky couch from Plunkett. I’ll prostitute myself for the right price.

 

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Help me, mommy!