[ d i a r y o f a d o r k ]
I’m never going to get the hang of corporate culture. Why is it when people ask you if you WANT to do something, and you tell them you are either too busy, or not interested, they act shocked? Why on earth pose it as a question if you’re going to get all bent about my lack of enthusiasm for your stupid project? If I’m SUPPOSED to do something, just TELL ME! Do they think I’m a moron? “Gee, I have this great opportunity for you. I’ve picked YOU to wipe my ass and pat it dry, but ONLY if your interested. We think it’s going to look great on your resume and will help you build the skills you need to rise to the top of our company. Do you think you might want to give it shot?” “Gee, thanks, but I have a lot of dirty butts on my plate, I don’t know if I’ll have time to wipe another. Can I get back to you?” …silence…sickening silence…then, ”But your boss said you’d do it.”.
Not only am I roped into something I don’t want to do, now I’m labeled as less than a “team player”.
Fear of the Week:
It’s been hot here--hotter than I ever remember it being even as a kid. They say the weather isn’t breaking any time soon and I’m fairly certain I’m going to succumb to heat stroke. I think about it a lot when I’m outside walking around. I have a fair distance to walk to get to the train, and then again from the train to work. I nearly panic if I don’t have water with me--as though I’ll faint dead away on the streets of Chicago at any moment. I even have my last words memorized so that I don’t have to think about it when someone bends down to see what’s wrong with me. I’ll gasp my final tribute to my husband and parents and be done with it. Enter nothingness. The only thing that scares me more than that is going crazy--which I obsess about too, but only when I’m overly concerned with the water or lead poisoning or some genetic abnormality that my entire family has kept secret from me for 34 years.This online journal thingy of the Producer Boys isn’t working out so well. They never got back to me after they said I’m in. I sent them the first week of entries, but not having heard from them, I never bothered to send the second batch. The outfit seemed shaky to start with and I’m sure it’s a bunch of kids thinking they’ve got this great idea, but not the motivation to carry it through. It’s on Homestead for chrissakes. Frankly, I’d be a little ashamed to send out “press releases” and the like for a site hosted by some freebie nitwit place that insists on having their advertising hose up the download time. Who’s going to pay attention to that? I will give them this--they’ve kept me writing consistently for a couple of weeks, which feels good to me. Plus the thought of someone else reading it sort of jazzed me up a little bit.
