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12.31.99

Two good things happened this morning. A very nice man came over and fixed our phone and I don't have a hangover. Snappy.

Oh, and don't take that Nazi whore thing personally, I was only foolin'.

I'd stick around longer but I have promises to keep (and miles to go before I sleep).

But first, here are my New Year's Resolutions:

  1. Smoke more.
  2. Drink more.
  3. Eat more fat.
  4. Exercise less.
  5. Alienate family and friends.
  6. Kick dogs.
  7. Yell at strangers.
  8. Blame others for my troubles.
  9. Be rude to the help (including, but not limited to, Wendy's, Bank One, White Hen, Popeye's, the 14th floor staff).
  10. Complain a lot.

Happy 2000.
 
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Help me, mommy!