Dogs of the Dead

Zombie dogs live in my house. They are fearsome and powerful and with one look, they will command you to give them a treat.

You will comply.

Aside from providing biscuits and throwing toys for monster dogs from beyond the grave, I did little this weekend but play online poker. In fact, for those of you playing along at home, I barely made it out of my sock monkey pajamas on Saturday.

[Here is the part where I commence with the poker-talk. You non-poker types can scroll directly to the pictures at the end and then turn off your browsers. Thank you for visiting and have a nice day.]

I placed a disappointing 86th in Wheaton’s event on Friday and I don’t recall where I went out in Pauly’s game on Saturday, but it was equally as dismal.

I did cash in at the Full Tilt $4,000 Guaranteed that some of us played in played in after Pauly’s game. (And by us, I really mean degenerate poker bloggers who should be doing something more productive.) But I attribute cashing to the fact that I went from Pauly’s game, where the entire field knew how to play, to a tourney on Full Tilt where nobody knew how to play. I just tightened up and played only premium hands–and was lucky enough to catch some that actually matched a few flops.

Sunday, however, I found myself on the final table in Rini’s game. I nearly soiled myself when I realized who I was playing with. (I wasn’t aware of half their IDs on Full Tilt.)

The man himself, HDouble, the Human Head, -EV, CJ, Royal, the Boy Genius, and Joe Speaker. I did not belong there. And I knew it.

I thought to take a screen shot at this point and it’s a good thing I did because I was to be eliminated by my very own fault not long after. I’m the gnome. (Doesn’t FullTilt do a nice Final Table? Someone railbirding mentioned that they ought to put AlCan’tHang into the audience. I concur.)

CJ (The UpForPoker Rooster) ended up taking me down because I made a brutally stupid mistake. I minimiun raised from the button when two had already folded to me. I was holding K10o and should have pushed. Instead, all I did was entice CJ, who was in the big blind, to defend his 82o. He caught his 8 on the flop and I was out in 5th place, winning nothing.

I won nothing because these tournaments Bill Rini set up are to determine who will play in a special tournament to occur after the WPBT Winter Classic in Las Vegas this December.

Did I forget to tell you I’m going to Vegas again in December?

Eeeeee!

Shame on me!

To make up for that, here I am in front of the most retarded shower curtain ever. It’s not in MY bathroom mind you. It’s in the GUEST bathroom. So if you come stay with me, you will be tortured with ducks. Retarded cartoon ducks.

Good Christ. Is it 8:00pm on a Sunday already? I have exactly one hour to do an entire weekend’s worth of housework before this disaster movie starts. Here is where I speed post another picture, forget to spellcheck and log off the internet for the night.

(And though I found my digital camera, it is broken beyond repair as if you could not tell.)

Here are my dogs!

Goodbye Internet! Until Tomorrow! (Or until I get the urge to write to you!)(Which could be significantly later than tomorrow!) (Then again, it could be later tonight!)(Goodbye!)(Goodbye!)