If you read this retardo website and sent me a nice email or comment today, you are officially too kind to me. (I especially dig all the hugging parts, though. )
Occasionally, I get a wee bit melodramatic, especially after a Blue Moon (or three). When this occurs, I should not operate computer equipment that is hooked up to a world-wide network. Some girls get drunk and call up their old boyfriends. I get drunk, lose all discretion, and crap out every thought in my brain all over the internet.
Unfair to you!
In my alcoholic haze last night, I do recall promising you some dork. Surprisingly, I’m able to oblige. (Surprising only to the uninitiated. You are lucky. Save yourself! Click away from here! Click away at once!)
I made myself cringe, today.
It started when, on this sunny Florida afternoon, I swapped out my prescription sunglasses for my regular glasses upon entering a shopping establishment, and casually hooked said sunglasses on the front of my shirt. I had this sort of epiphany about people earlier in the afternoon and I felt lighter and freer than I have all year. Essentially, I realized that much like material possessions, which I learned to let go of long ago, you can’t hold on to people either. They come in and out of your life like so many sunsets. You just can’t hang onto them. You can’t even hang onto dads and little doggies. You can only love and be loved by them while you can and then let them go. It’s the trying to clutch and grab for them in the dark that makes you insane with the sadness of it all.
It felt a lot more profound and a lot less gay than it sounds. Sincerely. Anyway, I was actually smiling and at peace with the world for the first time in months and I noticed something.
People were smiling back at me!
I really am one with the universe!
I felt as if I must be emitting some sort of beatific glow because people just could not stop staring at me with what I could only believe was a sense of envy. Envy because I have achieved this state of enlightenment . . . and it clearly showed. I smiled benevolently upon everyone, wishing them happiness and peace inside my mind.
Practically blessing them.
It was only when I get outside and reached for my sunglasses that I become truly enlightened. I was wearing a shirt with a zipper down the front. And I inadvertently unzipped myself right down to my bra with my sunglasses.
And now, without further ado, here are CURIOUS THINGS YOU SEE IN THE KEYS! (Through the lens of my new Canon Powershot SD450 which isn’t all that great after all.)
OK, BIRDS. YOU ARE ACTUALLY A LITTLE TOO CLOSE TO ME NOW. BACK OFF!
HAHA! FOOLED YA! I DID NOT DINE ON THEM LEST I BE ARRESTED FOR FUDGING UP A WHOLE SPECIES!
OUCH! FUCK! SUNBURN!
THERE BE MANATEES OUT THERE! (But my camera was too slow to capture them splashing about in the gloaming.)