05.24.01
Thursday

The son of a Hollywood legend fights Nazis in Gracie's living room!

Every word of the above statement is true, yes. But I can't tell you about it, no. Instead, let me not only evade the provocative opening words of my first entry in 24 days, but the reason I've been gone for 24 days as well, shall we? Believe me you're not missing much. Except of course if you enjoy having your eyes bleed Well then, you're really missing out. Really. Missing. Out.

Anyway, I started writing this post about coincidences. I did. Really. I swear to God, nearly ten times a day I have stop and go, "Whooooooaaaah, now that was freaky." (Okay, so it's more like a one or two times a week, but it's been pretty consistent.)

To illustrate that point, here are two examples:

Coincidence #1

The son of a Hollywood legend? The one I won't tell you about? I mentioned his visit to my favorite Invisible Internet Friend (IIF) while chatting that night and it turns out that her husband is friends with his brother. Let me say that again for effect. 

Her husband is friends with his brother. 

My IIF and I, we  live nearly 2,000 miles away from each other, we have never met and yet there's like only two degrees of separation (or is it one?) between us. Whooooaaaah, now that's freaky. 

Coincidence #2

After all these coincidences, of which you have only heard one so far, I was sitting in the bathroom the other day reading the back of a bottle of shampoo. I do that sometimes. When I don't have a magazine handy, I play this retarded alphabet game. Do you know that most common bathroom-related products don't have J's or Q's on their packaging? When I get to a letter that doesn't show up, like a  J for example, I look for the number 10, because J is the tenth letter of  the alphabet. Then and only then, can I continue my game.

Anyway, I was sitting there thinking, why couldn't this knowledge that I can pull out of my head in one half of a second--that J equals 10--ever be of value to me? I also thought that, in fact, it would sure be a SERIOUS COINCIDENCE if I actually DID need that knowledge to save a little kid's life or win a million dollars or something.

(I'm going somewhere with this. Really.) That night, I was flipping through channels and stopped on The Weakest Link long enough to hear the lady ask, "Wot's the tenth lettah of the ahlphabet?" 

In shock, I yelled "J!!!" 

Some guy OUTSIDE yelled back "WHAT?" 

The contestant answered "Q" and I'm thinking, "You IDIOT" both for the contestant and myself. 

The guy outside yelled "What" and "Hey" a few more times, but then, I guess he left. I was too embarrassed to look out the window. 
 
So tell me. What does it all mean?

 

[ If my web cam weren't acting up, you'd see a picture of me 
and a bottle of shampoo here. It would be really cute too. Fuck.]