06.01.01
Friday

I'm feeling a little ripped off right now. Hell, I'm feeling a lot ripped off. I've spent the better part of the last eight days coughing up chunks of my lungs and doing it for the most part trapped like a rat in my apartment. I made it to work for about four hours on Tuesday, and for a few more hours today, but that's it. I'm going stir-crazy. On top of that my throat is raw, my voice is wrecked, my body aches from using muscles I never knew I had, and my head? Very close to exploding. Very close. 

I finally went to the doctor this morning, hoping for some heavy duty prescription cough suppressant, which I did not receive. Nope. For it's not bronchitis or a cold causing my wretched hacking. It's asthma. 

Fucking asthma. (Or rather as my physician called it, "poorly maintained asthma".)

I'm having serious trouble swallowing all of this. For my entire life I could do anything I want, but now I'm like one of those sickly runty kids on the playground who never gets to do anything, but just sits there pasty and bored and clutching their inhalers the way baby monkeys grab at their mothers.

Here's where I get ripped off. I quit smoking eight freaking months ago. For everything I went through, the cravings, the mania, the irritability, the extra fifteen pounds (with only a small portion of that going to the breast area), I'm supposed to be enjoying renewed health, right? Breathing easier, yes?

Not me. I get asthma. 

I have this leather jacket. Sometimes when I wear it, Hula calls me "Hollywood Gracie". Yesterday when I had it on, however, he called me "Heroin Addict Gracie", thus ensuring me that I looked as crappy as I felt.

Oh oh oh! And listen to this! If all this wheezing and agonizing hacking weren't enough, I had to sit through the following movies while doing it...

Hands on a Hard Body
Jesus' Son
Nurse Betty
Dr. T and the Women
Finding Forrester
Bless the Child

I actually rented this shit.

I am such a retard. (And damn you, Robert Altman...what happened???)

[ If my web cam weren't acting up, you'd see a picture of me 
looking like a heroin addict right now. Bless your lucky stars.]