06.18.01
Monday

Last week was one of the more interminably boring weeks I've ever had at work and it looks as though another of its ilk has begun. You know what that's an indicator of, don't you? 

I'm over-posting to usenet! I'm over-posting to usenet!

Well, yes there's that, but on a more serious note:

The layoffs are coming! The layoffs are coming!

I'm pretty sure my job's safe, however, because they need someone to stick around and tell everyone else what happened. That's the kind of job I have now. For the most part it's my responsibility to let the rest of the world know what's going on in here. Today, however, I've been given the assignment of "spinning" the impending downsizing to the lucky ones who are left.

I've decided on the word, "realignment". 

"Realignment" is nicer than "restructuring", which sounds boxy and anonymous, and it's less scary than "layoff" or "downsizing" because you can't really tell what it means. For example, if I said to you that we were "realigning to match the needs of the marketplace," you wouldn't be scared and filled with visions of unemployment lines and boxes of macaroni and cheese for dinner, would you? No! You'd just nod your head and pretend you knew what I was talking about. I know this for a real fact because I've tried it several times already today.

I hope that it goes without saying that I feel slimy and crooked-backed about this part of my job. I sincerely hope that Hula gets his job situation back on track because I absolutely have to get started on a new career. 

[If my web cam weren't acting up, I 
couldn't post a picture anyway. I'm at work.]