Psychic Sunday
What if I wrote a goodbye entry . . . and the next day I died?
This thought has been floating around my head now for about twenty minutes. It wanders away for a second or two as I try to write a different entry about my mother-in-law's operation tomorrow, or my cute dog's latest trick, or our dwindling finances, or the one cigarette I smoked two Fridays ago, or the worst movie I've ever seen...ever, or my adorable homosexual downstairs neighbors, or that girl at work, Roohi--who wore full Muslim attire and hasn't been seen since the 11th, or my Dad's survival, or the Hartford circus fire, or Lake Michigan in October, or my postcard bandit, or the way I have reverse anorexia and think I'm thin until I see a picture of myself and say, "Whoa, who's that chubby chick?"
But that other thought keeps coming back. It's just dying to be written about.
I'm not talking suicide entry here, but weird premonition-type entry. The kind that will live on in not only the "journaler" sub-world of the Internet, but everywhere. Like, someday there may be websites, books and university courses dedicated to only the most verifiable of psychic phenomena, and my death premonition entry would be at the top of their reading list. And my picture will be on Oprah, Rosie and a teary PowerPoint slide with accompanying music that would make it's way across the world via e-mail. And the Amazing Randi would posthumously award my estate the million dollar prize!
All of these things could happen. Sure they could.
Now you know why this crossed my mind. Right? The activity in Afghanistan today and the more than likely retaliatory terrorist action that will take place soon. There's no WAY the neurotic compulsive mental patient that lives in my head would let something like this slide.
So there it is. I feel like all the apocalyptic doomsday worrying I've done since I was 13 is finally about to pay off in a tragic but spectacular display of flaming justification.
I WAS RIGHT!
But just in case I am not right. And I'm, ah, wrong, let me hastily include some non-death premonition material.
One year after I quit smoking (about a week or so ago), I arrived home to a little surprise party. Note that not only did I receive a cake, gifts and coconut soda for my efforts, but Jesus and Our Lady of Guadalupe were present for the occasion.
The virgin will be angry with me later when I smoke one cigarette
Guess what the best present of all was.
No, not the death omen that will catapult this particular entry into the "all time greatest internet premonition ever" (or quite possibly the "top ten internet dorks") category.
It was this guy . . .
Ouija and me
