10.26.01
Fish Fry Friday

Okay. So I didn't die. How humiliating it is to have to return after what was certainly the lamest of Internet predictions. But I'm humble, I'm a known dork, I can do this, I can come back for another entry. (If I die tomorrow, man, I'll really be mad.)

Mind you, after that entry, Hula and I did both get Anthraxed in separate incidents. He at the Shaumburg library a few Fridays ago and me at work last week. While he got evacuated and quarantined in the parking lot accompanied by Hazmat-suited men and news cameras, by the time I got Anthraxed, such events in Chicago were so commonplace that all I got was a memo. 

An E-MAIL memo. No men in Hazmat suits, no reporters, no hoopla. We didn't even get a day off. 

Okay, so our Anthrax turned out to be misplaced non-dairy creamer, but there was still mental suffering. I mean, I watched a frightening 20/20 promo before the incident where I work occurred. I viewed the word ANTHRAX displayed in a drippy scary Dracula font while at the same time, the announcer suggested that if I didn't watch his show, I might die. 

I MIGHT DIE, he said. 

Since I didn't watch his show, what was I to think after the official ANTHRAX memo on Word template letterhead arrived in our Outlook Inboxes? Yeah yeah, so the font wasn't the same, but when we got our e-mail memo, how could I not look at the Creamora and wonder if it wasn't deadly? 

God damn the media. (Who this week buried content like the IRA disarming for more ANTHRAX related nonsense designed to frighten not just me, but you too.) And, of course, thank the sweet Baby Jesus I drink my coffee black. 

Anyway, yes. I am aware that when I type ANTHRAX it looks nothing like the Dracula font that ABC owns. And well, freakish New World Order aside, I'm going to make a commitment to you right now.

Right now.

I pledge to you, dear reader, that I will update more regularly. (For you notified folks, this may mean an extra e-mail or two in your inbox, but I assure you it comes without a cure for impotence, a promise you will earn millions while you sleep, or a scary powdery substance.)

Why am I making this promise to you? 

Here's why.

Hula is more than likely off to Florida to pursue a happy and healthy career as a technical something or other while I'm off to east coast parts more northern to kick-start my voice-over career.

Yes. We're separating. 

Is that scarier than the threat of ANTHRAX

You bet.

 


Gracie and her crazy Planet of the Apes dog. 
(FYI: He's going with her.)
(And no, she's not crying in that picture. She's strong.)
(Strong like Xena.
)
(Gracie doesn't really watch that show, so that should be, like, her "perception" of Xena.)
(Strong like her "perception" of Xena.)
(This is getting a little caption heavy)
(But you get it, right?)
(Essentially, don't worry, Gracie will be okay.)
(Okay, so she might be crying a little, but what the fuck? She's moving a thousand miles away from her husband and she has no idea what the future will bring.)
(Xena would cry too.)
(I think.)
 

 

   

Secret Message